An Assignment!

I got my first assignment as a Rose Bride. It's really funny one too, kind of a big coincidence. I'm supposed to go to Belgium...and stalk Alicia, who apparently exists in my universe.

I'm probably not gonna hurt her or do anything to her.

I'm most likely going to just help her with whatever she is doing, which will be my first act of kindness!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get tickets to Belgium.

Hurray ^-^

A Meeting!

Jack came to see me today. It was kind of unexpected, but I'm sure he knew I wanted out.

"So Cecilia? How are you?" He asked looking into my cage.

"Horrible...I want to get out of here!"

"Well...I suppose I could let you out of here. But the only way to do that would be to give you to one of the fears, otherwise I don't gain anything out of it."

"Bite me Jack!"

"Oh getting feisty are we?"

"I'm not working for the fears Jack...thats not me anymore"

"Oh...what a shame. I guess I could arrange for you to be a willing servant"

"What?"

"Think about it, what better way for you to help others than by gaining the fears trust once more and quietly infiltrating them and helping their various runners, kind of like what Lucia did" He said and took a sip of his drink that he had. He always seemed to have a drink on him.

"That...actually makes sense!"

"So how about it Ceci? Its a win-win situation!"

"Why are you helping me?"

"Like I said, bringing you to the fears earns me trust from the fears. I have an agenda on my own, this works perfectly for it"

"Alright, deal!"

I shook his hand, hoping that I wouldn't regret it. But really...anything to get me out of this cage.

After a while I woke up in a flower field. With the Smiling Man standing before me, blood leaking from the cut out face in his head.

"H-Hhello Ce-Cecilia" He said, blood spewing onto my head.

I stood up.

"Hello Smiles"

"W-we m-mee-t a-again!"

"That we do"

"So, J-jack t-tel-tells m-me tha-that you w-want to be a ro-ros-rose br-bride"

"That's correct"

"Al-alright"

He put his hand on my head and I could feel his essence flowing throughout my body. I could feel that I was being given the power of the Smiling Man, not only from him but also the domain itself.

"T-take c-care"

This is interesting development. I'm a rose bride, but this time I'm not really attached to the fear at all. The Smiling Man creeps me out.

I honestly am only doing this to help. You readers don't have to believe me, but this is what I did. It's quite lucky though that I became a rose bride and not some other type of servant. I mean, the Smiling Man gives his servants a lot of freedom from what Lucia told me.

That is fortunate.

I'm gonna go to the city...see if there's anyone I can help there.

This is fun ^-^

An Apology!

I want to apologize.

To who?

A lot of people. For example I want to start out by apologizing to Alicia. I know I can't make up for the things I've said, the way I treated you like garbage throughout our entire relationship if you can even call it that, if you can then it wasn't a happy one...at least not for you.
I apologize.

I'm sorry Lucia...for not saving you. I could've saved you or at least tried, but no...in a final act of selfishness I thought more about my own needs than others.
I miss you.

And really...there are just a bunch of people that I've comitted gruesome acts of sexual and physical violence against, especially in my position as one of the trials.
I'm sorry.

I know there is nothing I can do to make up for any of this. All I can do is try to be a better person from now on, which is exactly what I plan on doing.

I want to get out of this cage and help people with the fears.
Put my years of experience to good use.

^-^ or at least I will try!